Why I don't curse (usually)

Have you ever gotten pissed off? You think to yourself “What the f*ck!” or even worse, you curse at someone. When we’re younger we’re usually discouraged from swearing, because it’s deemed as inappropriate. Because of this, we use these words to express extreme emotions (like anger). Everyone understands that you’re serious when you start throwing out expletives.

However, I think there are better ways to communicate. You don’t need to curse to get your point across. It just comes across as childish and poor communication.

If cursing feels like it helps you vent and release your anger, that may be fine. But, think to yourself: does cursing actually help you calm down, or just make you angrier? For me it’s the latter. Plus if you’re cursing at someone, you should be considerate to how you’re making them feel.

So, instead of spiralling into an angry rage, cursing the world, I stop myself. I don’t bottle up my emotions though, I still release my thoughts, but in more friendly terms. Instead of saying “What the f*ck” I’ll say “Oh poo”. This might seem pointless or that you’re bottling up your emotions, but for me it works. I don’t get angry, and it lightens the mood for everyone.

With this I’m able to stay calm and collected, and I’ve trained myself to react this way. Of course I’m not perfect and still curse occasionally.

It’s also helped me think of different reactions than swearing, like if somebody makes a mistake, I don’t get angry at them. I try to help them, and ask what I can do for them. I try to understand them and their side of the argument.

Cursing is generally where communication breaks down, and creates a toxic environment. The more I cursed, the quicker I was to react negatively to any situation. Conversely, now that I try not to curse, I find myself calmly trying to resolve problems and arguments.

My natural reaction to frustrating situations is no longer anger, but curiosity. How can I help? What is the problem? What can I do?

This does depend on the environment though, maybe everyone swears all the time. It’s possible that for you, it has become so commonplace that saying “F*ck” is no worse than saying “Darn”. Because these words are considered “swear words” or “curse words” they have a certain relation to anger or seriousness. But it may not be the case for everyone. However, generally most professional environments discourage these words.

Anyway, give it a shot. Try replacing your curses with innocuous phrases. You may be surprised at the effect it has on your attitude and general positivity. As well as the people around you.

Pierce Zaifman

Android app developer. Hates wasting time and takes satisfaction in improving efficiency in all aspects of life. Also enjoys helping people solve their problems.

London, Ontario, Canada

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